When I was in California last year I attended a talk by the popular writer/speaker who goes by the name SARK. Her schtick is encouraging people to acknowledge their feelings, not to ignore them or deny them. Rather in the vein of ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ (as Susan Jeffers says) SARK encourages people to accept their feelings, even if they are negative, and let them be, but also to keep moving forward through those feelings, not giving them the power to paralyze us or hold us back.

She told a story that I loved. She had booked a driver to pick her up and take her to the airport. He was late and she got agitated. It got worse when she stepped in cat faeces and had to go back into the house to change her shoes. She was so annoyed that when the driver finally arrived she confronted him for his tardiness.

He denied being late so things were pretty tense between them as they drove off. As SARK was silently fuming in the back seat, it occurred to her that she could alter the situation just by starting a different conversation.

She asked the driver: ‘can we start over?’ She then introduced herself and explained, and apologized for, her anxiety and agitation. He then introduced himself and explained that he had actually been early but had been given the wrong address, where he’d waited 10 minutes or so until he was given the right one.

In the end the he gave SARK his card and told her to call him personally for any future trips. They parted on happy and friendly terms.

All it took was a change of tack, and a simple request, to start over. No complicated or involved apologies, no intricate unravelling of blame or guilt. Just an acceptance of they way things had turned out and a desire to change the direction of the course they were on to one that would lead to harmony and peace. It is genius in its simplicity

Eileen McBride
Eileen McBride is the author of Love Equals Power 2, a spiritual seeker and teacher. This article was published on January 26, 2011.