Has anyone else noticed that there’s pretty much only one way for a woman to be beautiful these days? The formula usually involves size 0, straight hair - preferably blonde, tanned (albeit fake) skin, straight white teeth, short, tight, low cut clothing to make the most of perfectly shaped breast implants, and minimum six inch heels.
I thought the young, lithe bikini girls prancing in the Big M ads in the 70’s were a slap in the face of the burgeoning second wave of feminism. Now I positively long for their return.
They were blonde, brunette, red-haired and even mousy brown (like me). They were short, tall, long-legged, and otherwise. Some had curls and some even had freckles! But most importantly, whatever they had, they were born with
- or naturally acquired in puberty. Oh, where are they now?
When did our cultural notions of beauty, particularly of the feminine variety, get so prescribed? It seems that as we enlarge and expand our ideas of cultural, sexual and social diversity, our notions of what a woman should look like shrinks (along with the waistlines). It’s almost as if women need to disappear, their voice silenced and their individuality ameliorated, before theycan be seen as worthy.
Walking in the Botanical Gardens here in Melbourne this morning, a stunning herbaceous garden in its prime got my attention. The mix of grasses and succulents amongst various kinds of flowers was designed so that each plant was surrounded by those of other species, thus highlighting the special characteristics of each.
So pink flowers were nowhere near other pink flowers. They sat in a contrasting and complimentary context of other colours and textures. The effect of this on the observer was to highlight their ‘pinkness’ or, in other words, their uniqueness. They were easily seen, and readily appreciated, because they stood out from their surroundings for their singular beauty. If they had been in a sea of other types of pink flowers, chances are I would never have noticed them.
Sadly, isn’t this what happens to the girls/women who go to such lengths to conform to the formula? They become indistinguishable faces in a crowd. The question has to be asked why women would want this. Why do they want to shrink to become as small, unnoticeable, and unthreatening as possible? Perhaps because they fear that to be anything more, to live to their infinite potential, is too scary for them or the people around them?
But no one wins when we do this, as Marianne Williamson says in her book A Return to Love:**
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? … Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do… And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
And so it is.
