Key to everything I’ve said so far about love is self-love. And this cannot be overstated. Self-love is not only an essential part of understanding love in its full infinitude and power, it is the crucial and necessary starting point.
Our world quickly turns self-love into something ‘selfish’ or narcissistic. Those in positions of power and influence don’t encourage self-love. It is way too problematic for them. It is so much harder to parent, teach, employ, govern, or religiously indoctrinate or shepherd a person who loves themselves and is able to speak their own truth.
And, therein lies the paradox. The people who seem to have what we want, the people that have the power and the control - and usually the stuff - are telling us to listen to them, to follow their guidance, and ignore our own inner voice. The implication being, if we want what they have, we need to do what they say.
So by the time we reach early adulthood we are well versed in all the ways to silence our intuition, that inner voice that continually points to another way of doing things. Innately our soul yearns for joy. In our deepest heart we all desire a way to uniquely express ourselves, to create our own life that articulates and demonstrates who we truly see ourselves to be.
Instead we find ourselves conforming to others’ rules, bowing to the dictates of familial, tribal, cultural, or national duty and obligation ( always as others define them), submitting to the control and manipulation of others who seem to have power over us, till we get to a point where we cannot see any possible alternative way to live life.
When all else fails, those who seek to control us pull the ‘you will not survive’ card and wave it over your head. And even if no one else does, you are no doubt well able to do it for yourself given your 20 or more years of living in the current social system. You are so afraid of striking out on your own, following the urgings of your own heart and soul, and ignoring the blueprint for living the vocal majority tries to impose on us, that it seems easier just to do what they all say.
And in some ways it is easier, in the short term. But know this: it is unsustainable in the long term. Eventually both your body and mind will make their protest known. As the psychoanalysts say, the body is truth. You may be able to ignore your own truth, but your body never can. Living in contradiction with our true desires creates internal conflict which leads to stress and ultimately culminates in sickness and dis-ease.
We must love ourselves and honour our own truth and our own journey. There is no avoiding it. This is something those in charge will never tell you. You have no choice in the matter. Self- love is a pre-requisite, it is not an elective or option. If you want a chance at happiness and peace of mind, if you want to find the life that your soul yearns for and never stops seeking, you must find a way to love yourself.
